ugh i’m a shitty person
there’s a guy i’m friends with for the past couple of years. granted i haven’t seen him since last spring and even then i only saw him during rocky horror when i worked/went there on saturday nights. well he’s always been very complimentary of me and hitting on me (which for a good long while i just couldn’t wrap my brain around). we went to see stid last spring and ended up talking for hours in his car about got/asoiaf and making out as well.
and argh i still have feelings for him! i had planned once i lost my v card last summer to sleep with him. hell the amount of times i’ve thought about how awesome it’d be to sleep with him, i was determined to ask him over my spring break (part of the fab five) but obviously when jamie and i became official i didn’t. and like. i keep thinking about it!
i would never ever cheat on jamie. i truly care about him. i don’t know why i still keep thinking about this guy. i kind of know why. he’s shown interest. no one’s ever shown interest in me until this past year. i grew up being called ugly, too tall, too skinny, pale, awkward, and yeah that gets to you. i’m naturally and automatically attracted to anyone who shows an interest in me. i want to sleep with him solely because i know he wants me. and i don’t know how to handle that!
i’m fucking awful. i finally get a boyfriend who cares about me and treats me right and what do i do? think about sleeping with another guy. i’m trash.
Far away, long ago glowing dim as an ember. Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember. And a song someone sings, Once upon a December.
Albert: I just got your note. I was riding.
Victoria: Sit, please.
Albert: The park is marvelous.
Victoria: I’m so pleased you like it. I do want you to feel quite at home… I’m sure you’re aware why I wished you to come here. Because it would make me happier than anything, too happy really, if you would agree to what I wish.
Albert: And stay with you?
Victoria: And stay with me.
Albert: And marry you?
Victoria: And marry me!
Horrible Histories S2 Picspam: at least he’s crying now